Angel
by Eulene
Summary: Ran has an illness and doesn't have long to live. What will happen to the people around her? What will Conan do? He's against an enemy he cannot fight now...
1. Chapter 1

Angel

Chapter 1

* * *

"Race you back home!" the young boy threw a challenge at her with a cheeky grin before dashing off.

"You cheat!" the girl yelled as she sprinted off after him.

For a while, down a few streets, the race went on. Under the glow of the street lamps, night saw a teenage girl chasing after a young child. Carefree they were, with no regard for the strange looks thrown by the few passers-by around. Then turning into the familiar street, the little boy pumped his fist into the air as a sign of victory before turning around to proclaim loudly, "Ha! I'm the winner!"

Empty words they were for there was no one else besides him to hear his exclaim of victory. Turning around cautiously at the lack of answer, the boy found himself struck dumb at the face of an empty street.

The initial steps he took were small and hesitant, these qualities reflected in his voice which called her name out repeatedly with much anxiety. The steps grew in speed, the urgency mirrored in his childish voice. Breaking into a sprint, he traced the path he had come from, all the while calling out her name as panic maintained its tight grip over his heart.

It was at the third corner that he had turned down, when a pair of hands suddenly reached out from behind and seized him. Cold and clammy they were to skin that was warm from all the exertion and panic. Arms flailing, the boy struggled as he attempted to fix his trusty wristwatch into position. Without warning, the attacker released him and suddenly spoke up.

"Race you back!"

Recovering from his ungraceful fall, Conan turned just in time to see Ran dashing down the corner. With a deep sigh of relief as panic released its icy grip on him, the little boy grinned and followed.

Up the stairs, the two went, headed towards the apartment. Still feeling the after effects of the race he had lost, Conan inhaled deeply the cool wind that greeted him, enjoying the way it cooled his flushed cheeks. Then, noticing something else, he slipped his small hand into Ran's bigger one. Cold were her hands to his touch and the pallor that pained her complexion was striking under the soft illumination from the lamps overhead.

"Are you feeling all right?"

She broke out of whatever trance she had been immersed in after his third repetition of the question and managed a cheery smile which seemed a tad forced. "I'm fine!" Then, letting go of his hand to rummage for her keys, she fished it out from her bag. With the cool metal in her hands, she stabbed forward, towards the keyhole. It would not fit in. Again she tried. The key still refused to enter. Several attempts she took, but she still missed the keyhole. Ran shook her head slightly as if attempting to clear her vision. The key fell from her trembling hands with a loud harsh jangle as she crumpled into a heap onto the floor. The world around her darkened as the color from her vision slowly drained away while the monotonous buzzing in her ears grew in volume.

"Ran! Ran!" someone called out anxiously as a face appeared dimly over her already fading vision.

A weak smile was all she could manage.

"You're back… Shinichi…"

And the world blacked out.

* * *

She had fainted. It wasn't the first time.

It had started with the pallor in her complexion, followed then, by the increasing frequency of the fainting spells and then her hallucinations. Worried, Mouri Kogoro had brought his daughter for a check up after two months of the continuous symptoms. A fortnight had dragged on in silence before they received a call from the hospital, informing them the release of Ran's medical report.

Solemnly the trio sat before the doctor. The famed detective on the edge of his seat with his knuckles clenched until they were of a disturbing bone-white. Oddly however, his daughter seemed very much at peace, seated quietly in her seat, with a look of perfect calm upon her face. The only clue to her anxiety was perhaps, her unusually tight hold over the little boy who sat in her lap. He wore an uneasy expression and was strangely silent with his brows in a close knitted position as he felt the cold hands of Ran in his warm grip.

Time seemed to stretch on forever as the doctor's hand moved in a clockwise motion repeatedly, unwinding the string on the brown envelope. Withdrawing a thick stack of papers, his eyes scanned the words across the pages. Then looking up, his eyes met the gaze of them three before he adjusted his spectacles and said gently to Ran, "Perhaps you would like to leave the room first?"

Her grip on the little boy tightened unwittingly as she replied without hesitation, "It is my condition, and I want to know what is wrong with me." And firmly she remained in her seat, her lips set in a tight grim line.

"I am very sorry to inform you that you have developed brain tumor." Pausing awhile as if to let his words sink in, the doctor then continued as he drew out films of the X-ray photographs and placed it against the harsh fluorescent background and continued his detailed explanation.

Her grip on Conan suddenly loosened as her hands fell uselessly against the sides of the chair, swaying dully in mid air, her back now slumped. With an entire change in his demeanor, the famed detective instructed the young boy to bring Ran out of the room.

Conan tugged gently at Ran, leading her out of the small office into the corridor. She did not resist and sat quietly on the plastic seat in the harshly lit corridor. But they were still within the hearing range as the cruel Fate allowed them to hear the last of the conversation.

Tersely, the familiar voice her father had asked, "Can she be cured?"

"We can perform an operation on her to remove the tumor but it will be an operation carrying many risks."

A short pause and then, "If she doesn't take up the operation… How long more?"

"Three months at most."

And that ended the visit to the doctor.

* * *

A/N: Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please review! Thank you! 


	2. Chapter 2

Angel

Chapter 2

* * *

They had returned home in Kogoro's rented car, maintaining that awkward tense silence which had never been present before, in the air. Kogoro was in the driver's seat, his hands clutched tightly around the rim of the wheel, the color of the knuckles coming close to a bone white that stood in sharp contrast against his skin. His eyes were seemingly trained on the view of the road that stood right before him, yet who could deny the multitude of emotions that swirled within him as reflected in his eyes? He had not spoke since they had left the hospital and it didn't seemed as if he was going to speak any too soon, from the tight grim line his lips were set into. 

Ran sat next to him. Her face remained expressionless as she continued her dreamy stare out of the window. Her eyes seemed hollow, as if unwilling to reveal anything that she should have been feeling inside. Her hands were folded neatly across her lap. There was no clue or indication regarding the internal turmoil that should have been wrecking her emotions. The sunlight that poured through the panes seemed to highlight her fragility, her being as delicate as glass. She sat there, serene and calm, as if with quiet acceptance over the news she had just received.

In the back seat, all alone, was the little Conan. Usually active and full of chatter if not alert and watchful, he now sat there on the middle seat at the back, with an utter look of lost on his face. He sat with his back hunched and his legs, dangling in the midair over the floor of the car. His arms hung uselessly by his side as they hit the cushioned seat that provided him no comfort. Lost….and helpless… He seemed to be drifting in his own world of thoughts, unable to grasp onto anything concrete… The sense of uncertainty that he was not used to feeling in his world of confidence, logic and sureness, threw him off balance.

The vehicle suddenly veered off course sharply, crashing into the curb as Kogoro started swearing under his breath while he unbuckled his seat belt and approached the other driver.

His figure seemed oddly large today as he stood towering over the man, emitting an aura of authority and menacing air. "What is wrong with you? Why did you suddenly turn like that? Look at the damage you've done! This isn't even my car! How should I fix this now? I demand compensation!" He went on and on, his tone, abnormally colored with an anger and frustration that appeared to have been locked up within for ages. The other man could get not a word in edgewise, and his already small figure seemed to diminish further under Kogoro's overpowering rage.

The door of the car clicked open as Ran stepped out. Surveying the damage, she pulled her father gently away from the man as she said calmly, "Dad, the damage isn't severe… We can fix it… It is not this man's fault…" The man then seized the opportunity. Apologizing to them furiously with an expression not quite matching the words he was repeating, the man flew back to his car and drove away in a flash.

Shaking his daughter away gruffly with a clenched expression upon his face, the famed detective punched his fist into the trunk of a tree growing alongside the road. For a moment everything froze. Kogoro, with his fist connected to the tree, Ran, watching quietly with an expression hard to decipher as her hair danced to the teasing of the wind. And Conan…he remained in the car, seeing all these, and yet not seeing it all…

* * *

They got home not long after. 

Ran murmured inaudibly before she retreated into her room. A soft click that followed indicated that the door was locked.

Kogoro stationed himself by the phone, his fingers jabbing at the keys in a certain pattern over and over again and eventually after three tries to reach his ex-wife, he hung the receiver violently as he stared at the closed door to Ran's room with a look of utter resignation. And then it was as if something snapped within him. His shoulders suddenly slumped as his entire body slouched forward, his face buried in his hands while tears fell helplessly.

The little child had been the last to enter and still he sat, dazed upon the edge of the couch as he stared blankly at the floor. He was not a child at all. A famous teen detective trapped in the body of a child. Never had he looked so vulnerable and powerless before…

He raised his head slowly, the usual glint of knowing in his eyes snuffed out for once as they appeared dull and lifeless. A closed door – a painful reminder to him of the even greater barrier that separated him from Ran; and Kogoro – he was usually either flippant or over brimming with confidence, be it in his speech or actions…yet now, the grown man sat there in a slump, evidently unable to do anything…

It all seemed so wrong. So wrong. The house remained the same. The furnishings…the usual noises and creaks…the mess… The streets outside still retained their regular busy flow of people and bustle… The sun still shone as brightly as ever while the clouds hung prettily beside it. Why? Why was it that everything had to change in a single instant?

Something within the boy stirred as a spark of the spirit of the teen detective Shinichi Kudo ignited, propelling the young boy to suddenly dash out of the apartment and down the streets, following a familiar route that he took often…

* * *

Her frosty blue eyes seemed clouded as she stared at some non-existent object behind him. For a moment she didn't speak and it did seem as though she had no intent to respond. 

"Ai?" he probed her gently, the urgency in his voice thick.

Her eyes focused, changing their target of observation to him instead. Quietly she studied for a minute or so and then she closed her eyes, laying a hand on his shoulder as if in an attempt to comfort him. When she opened her eyes, the usual layer of ice in her cold blue eyes that kept her emotions within well shielded, was gone. Bare and harsh was the intensity of the inability to help him, as her eyes told him. He did not even have to hear her words of confirmation but still…

"I'm sorry Conan… There's nothing I can do…" came her words, in a voice cracked and filled with sorrow.

She wanted to say more - to perhaps comfort him and soothe him. He had never lost a loved one before and now… But she knew his character well and besides, there was nothing that she could say that would offer him comfort except for her confirmation of her ability to cure Ran.

Instead, she watched him leave. Wordlessly turning around and leaving, with a grim line of determination set to his lips and the flame in his eyes, still refusing to extinguish. Ai Haibara then took hesitant steps towards the window, where the rays of golden sunlight bounced off the surface into her eyes, blinding her, causing her to see images of her late sister in the reflections on the pane…

* * *

And for the first time in a long while, tears fell freely from her eyes as the emotions long locked in her escaped with a numbing effect. 

As he traced his route back to the apartment he now called home, Conan whipped out his cellular phone, as he dialed a number that was wasn't listed locally.

"Dad?"

"Shinichi!" with a loud exclamation and then a deep chuckle, "What can I do for you? How's life there?"

"Dad I need your help! You are in America aren't you? Surely you know some skilled neurologists?" frantically he rambled on and on over the phone to his father, explaining the events that had passed amidst the tears that filled his eyes.

* * *

By the phone booth just meters away from the building in which the Mouris' apartment was, Conan dialed a number he had long memorized. 

A hesitant voice sounded, "Hello?"

"Ran. It's me," the young boy spoke, his voice coming out instead as that of a mature youth, much deeper than his present childish tone, with the help of the bowtie that distorted his voice.

"Shinichi… It's been awhile hasn't it?" she questioned, a seemingly dreamy feel to her soft voice. He was acutely aware of the silence around him and the quietness of the background from over the receiver. There were so many things he wanted to tell her and yet, all of a sudden, he found himself lost for words…

"Ran, I… I…" he paused midway, feeling the sudden rush of emotions that brought the tears out. Taking a deep breath he continued, doing his best to suppress his emotions, "How have you been?"

_I see you sitting there calm when you heard the news, as if with quiet acceptance… Had you had suspicions of your health? Why didn't you tell anyone about it? Your father? Your mother? Sonoko? Or even…me?_

_Surely you will tell me now?_

"I'm fine… as ever I am fine…It's been so long since I've heard from you Shinichi… When are you coming back? Are you done with the handling of the case? I… I would like to see you…"

_Why won't you tell me the truth?_

"I…" his voice caught in his throat which suddenly constricted. "I cannot come back yet… Ran…? Are you sure you are fine?"

"Hmm… yes…" her voice growing fainter, seemingly fading into the rising silence of her room.

"I… promise me something will you?"

"If I can… what is it?"

"Promise me that you will wait for my return… will you?" It was becoming increasingly difficult to speak as his choking grew more frequent while he spoke.

There was a brief stretch of silence that met his ears.

And then came her answer which tore his world to pieces.

"I'll try…"

"Ran…? I… You…" again he found himself incapable of speech, as he stuttered while his mind attempted to string words together to make his scrambled thoughts clear.

"Shinichi… I… We'll talk another day… Goodbye…"

A quiet click ended the conversation.

And like startled birds, his various thoughts flew away. The bowtie fell from his grasp and as he stooped to pick it, he found himself unable to stand again. So there he remained, in the telephone booth where he had made so many calls to her in the past. There he remained, a small lone crouched figure, trembling as tears wrecked him…

All his wit, intelligence and knowledge abandoned him leaving him truly helpless and vulnerable as he realised the full impact of everything.

He was against an enemy he could not fight...

* * *

A/N: I know it's probably still short to a reader but it took me a long time to get this out… This is probably my last post until October when my exams end. Wish me luck please I loads of it. Urgh. Just had news that a woman's head was found in the train station. Gosh. Once again I am reminded of life's unpredictability and its fragility. Cherish all that you have before you lose it. Hope that you enjoyed this chapter and didn't find it boring. Feel free to point out any areas that can be improved on or any flaws. Thanks for the reviews! And please review once again thanks! 

To

Lutsen: Thank you!

Southpaw: Haha… Firstly, thanks! And about being Yoda-ish, well I am a star wars fanatic and especially love Yoda… Often imitate him in school in fact… Oops, looks like he's growing on me… Hehe… Perhaps I was trying to introduce some sentence variation… Did it really sound awkward? I'll try to change it… Thanks for pointing that out! I never did notice .

Fyliwion: Thank you! I realize I haven't really focused on Ran's emotions yet… More on her next chapter…

Hrtofdrkns: Thanks! Hope that there is a bittersweet element to this.

Koru-chan: Hey thanks!

Fireblazie: This chapter is longer… There is more on Conan… and I guess I haven't really focused on him yet… .

Greatkid4869: Thank you!

Detective Girl 2005: Thanks!

Star: I have no idea what your review meant o.o but thanks!

Gapz: heh thanks… three months… more or less perhaps? What memories? Glad you like it…


	3. Chapter 3

Angel

Chapter 3

* * *

He stepped out of the phone booth. For a moment, he stood as if frozen, gazing unwaveringly at the apartment. The distance that separated him from her…it was but a few meters… It was just a road he could easily cross. Yet… why? Why was it that the few meters before him suddenly seem to stretch impossibly long?

Not even aware of his thoughts or actions, seemingly an empty shell, the little boy made his way across the street as his legs brought him up the flights of stairs mechanically; bringing him to the front door he had grown used to seeing in that past year. Like a robot, he automatically reached into his pocket, drawing out a key which fitted into the keyhole, allowing him entry into the apartment he now recognized as his home.

The door swung open easily and smoothly. Apart from the dim lights thrown in carelessly by the streetlamps along the road outside, the room was unusually dark. Unusually silent too. Closing the door, the little boy stood outside Ran's room. And just a little awhile ago when he had been opening the lock to enter the apartment, this door, too, was closed. He didn't have a key to this door however. Was it even locked? He wasn't sure. He wasn't about to try. The imposing wooden door stood tall against his tiny frame, an evident reminder of his inability to open the door to Ran's heart.

The distance that separated them was barely a meter now. All that stood in the way was but a door. What about the distance that lay between their hearts? Could he ever reach her?

* * *

While the little boyfell numbly onto the armchair that faced the door to her room, Ran remained in her room still. She had been in her room all day long ever since her return from the hospital. Ever since the deliverance of that devastating news. It didn't event seemed real. So unreal in fact – as if she was living the life of a character from a story; as if this were all fiction.

Wrapped in her blankets, seated on the bed, she hugged the teddy bear even tighter. It had been a gift from Shinichi. She had been waiting for his return for what seemed like years. Despite the reports from the newspapers, about his the mystery shrouding his abrupt disappearance and the possibility of his death, she had always believed in his words – that he would return. He called often. His voice, though from miles away in some foreign land, kept her hopes alive. The suspicions that that might not be him, or that he was in some kind of a trouble had plagued her once.

Once. Not any longer.

She had chosen to believe in him. The picture of his return, of their reunion, was painted all too clearly in her mind. It was strange… She just assumed that they would always be together. He had never expressed his feelings, nor had she. Yet, what she had glimpsed in his eyes, seemed telling enough, of his feelings towards her. And for a very simple and sincere reason, she chose to believe in him and herself.

Yet now… she wasn't even sure any longer. She was no longer sure what to believe in.

As the impact of the news, of the day's events, of the happenings of the past months since signs of her illness had surfaced, slowly seeped in, there seemed to be a surreal quality about it all. Like some kind of a television drama or soap opera, she, the main protagonist was about to die. There were so many people out there who could be stricken with such an illness. Why her? Why? Was this fair? It all seemed so dramatic. That she, would be the one to die in such a cruel way at such a tender age, when the same fate could have befell upon so many others like her. And just like any fictional story or movie, there was the main question - Would she prevail in this battle against her sickness?

It was laughable. Was all this even real? It was as if she was standing from some corner, as an unconcerned third party, watching this poor innocent girl fall victim to an illness that was sapping her life away with every second. Could this really be happening to her?

Her eyes glanced towards the brown envelope containing her medical report, on the table. And as a frantic knocking sounded outside followed by an urgent harsh jangling of keys and a familiar voice sounded out words that made no sense to her, reality suddenly struck her hard like an unpredicted meteor falling upon earth.

She, Ran Mouri was diagnosed with brain tumor.

Her days were numbered.

Her remaining days were short.

And just as if the meteor had struck earth, the stars in the sky seemingly had their lights snuffed out like mere candles in the harsh winds, the earth cracked as the ground split.

Her world just fell apart.

* * *

Eri Kisaki opened the door rather violently as she stood stunned for a moment. Her normally fair complexion now showed a sheen of paleness. Even her usual impeccable neatness was ruffled as seen from the crumpled state of her clothes and the stray locks of hair that had fallen from the usually tidy bun she wore her brown hair up into. There was a frantic glimpse of panic that resided within her dark eyes.

"Conan?" she approached the little boy, her voice taking on a shrill tone.

"I heard… I heard… Ran… I don't believe this… I… Where is Kogoro? Ran… is she really?" There was something scary about this lady who usually had it all together as she walked with an imposing air of authority armed along with her cool demeanor. Yet all that seemed like a mask now as she, who had defended so many in the impartial court, now stood before the little boy, as she spouted incoherently, her eyes darting from left to right as if searching for someone.

The little boy remained silent, as if deaf to her words.

Then Eri Kisaki turned.

There seated behind the desk where he had received so many pleas and requests, was Kogoro Mouri slouched and sprawled all over the wooden surface in a drunken stupor, mumbling broken strings of words, "… Ran? Brain tumor… Eri… Three months? I… I…brain tumor… die… Ran… Ran…"

His words were audible enough to be heard in the still silence of the room. Audible enough to reach her ears, for her logical mind to put together the loose pieces of the puzzle. Eri Kisaki fell back onto the couch as a sudden weakening in her limbs threatened her stability. Her mind was in a whirl and her emotions were swarming her like a mob of insects streaming to drown her.

Yet in spite of all these, one thing stood very clear.

In the impartial court where life and death was decided, Eri Kisaki was virtually helpless in her case to defend for the rights of her daughter's life.

Helpless…

* * *

A/N: Hi! Long time no see! My exams are finally over and I am so not looking forward to getting my results back. Sorry for the long update! Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please leave a review! Your comments are really helpful and mean a great deal to me! Thanks!

To

Fyliwion: Thank you! For some reason, whenever I watch the anime or read the manga, I particularly love the scenes where he talks to her in the phone booth… is it odd? x.x hehe… I'm not sure why I love those scenes but somehow I guess it's rather sweet…

Greatkid4869: Yea, I guess… I'm not sure if that part was a bit too ooc for Ran but I was trying to visualize how it might be in real life. I was thinking is quite difficult to muster up the courage to inform someone we love of such a news… so… I hope this chapter gives a good insight of her thoughts that might explain her actions… Thanks!

YumeTakato: heh… well this is under the angst genre after all... Hope you enjoyed reading it! Thank you!

DaisyAnimeluvr: Thanks for the luck and review! Hehe.. sadly I have a bad feeling about the outcome. Bleah… Thanks though.. hehe… Hope you like this!

Detective Girl 2005: lol… Thanks!

Koru-chan: Thanks! Yea, I hate that word too… I guess that's my motivation and inspiration for this story…

Shinichi's lover: Thank you for reviewing! Hmmm…. That will be in the later chapters – whether he tells her how he feels or not. Hehe…

Minette: Thank you! Your review gave me an idea for the story development! Thanks!

Colormyworld: Sorry for the long update! Thanks for the review!


	4. Chapter 4

Angel

Chapter 4

* * *

It was amazing. There was no better word to describe the scene that was unfolding before his eyes. It had been days since Eri Kisaki had returned and much transformation had taken place since the day the devastating news was shattered upon them. Was it a mother's love? Was it the strength of a woman who had experienced much? He didn't ask. Yet she gazed gently at him, patting him softly on the back in the brightly lit corridor of the cold hospital, with an answer, "If the people around falter, who can the drowning person, hang onto?"

He had no answer to that. The meaning and intentions behind those words were clearly a bid for him to be strong – having been wandering in that hazy gloom ever since the day in the doctor's office, he felt somewhat lightened.

And Conan was not the only one who heard that. Kogoro and Sonoko had too. The beautiful metamorphosis that drew out the strength in them led to a great change in the events that took place. Ran who had retreated into the safety of her room and had became all but an empty shell of the vibrant cheerful girl she once was, finally broke free of the dazed stupor too, accepting treatment just to cling onto every strand of hope that hung limply in these dark days, glistening faintly with a weak promise. Yet still a promise nonetheless, a promise of life.

* * *

The school had organized several fundraising events under Sonoko's lead. Donations poured in from people who knew them and people who didn't. Meanwhile visitors streamed into the ward she had been admitted into. There was rarely a moment she was left alone.

And every visitor who walked in never shed a single tear. They were all smiles and cheers. Yet strangely every time they exit the room, Ran would hear the faint muffled sobs. Each would bring with them paper cranes. They said they folded the cranes and wrote their well wishes on them. The cranes would be the messengers, angels bearing their prayers for her to heaven. And she looked at their shiny eyes and the chains of colorful cranes that decorated the ceiling, seeing angels in their stead.

A week later, enough money was raised for her operation, and it was that week that the renowned doctor who was Yukiko's contact, was available. The operation was scheduled to be two days later.

* * *

Two days before the operation…

Warm golden light from the setting sun streamed into the room bringing smiles to the flowers that beamed their well wishes upon the girl lying on the bed. Together with the little boy next to her, they thumbed through the heavy photo album thick with nostalgia as they giggled over the beautiful comfort these memories had to offer. When they had first opened it, she had pointed at every single photo, telling him the story encased in the picture. Then after awhile, she grew tired, they flipped through the pages and pages still, she spoke less and less… and eventually not at all. But the smiles were still there on their faces. She did not speak and there he was, excitedly jabbing at the pretty pictures, rambling fondly of the happy times that were. She didn't question his knowing and he didn't stop either. There was a sort of conscious knowing and comfortable familiarity between them in the cold room lit up with the warmth of the compassionate hearts around.

He stopped when he realized she was asleep.

Then he held her cold hands in his warm little ones. Tears ran down his cheek.

* * *

The door swung opened silently as Heiji strode over to awaken the sleeping child before whispering softly that he had to go. The visiting hours were over. Conan made no motion to leave, frozen as if trapped in a place no one else could enter but the two of them. A world ruled by idealism and hope, where fairy tales were reality. In that world she would be the sleeping princess, waiting for her prince to break the sleeping enchantment and breathe life into her once more. Pale and serene, she was encased in glass for all her frailty. Then the stifled sobs of Kazuha pulled him back to the world of reality that had decided upon the fate of the girl sleeping before him. Kissing her hands gently, he followed Heiji out of the room.

In the dark room, now by herself, Ran opened her eyes that were wet with tears. They didn't fall out. She did not cry.

She started writing.

* * *

"Why do you cry?"

"I can't… believe that this would happen to her… Why? Why her of all people? She… She's always been healthy and cheerful… so kind… I can't understand why… Why Sonoko? Why must this happen to her?"

"Why do you speak as if this is a hopeless situation?" Smiling, Sonoko hugged the crying Kazuha.

"Believe in her. Have faith, Kazuha…" Her voice trembled a little and the tears threatened to fall. "Don't break down… We must be strong for her… Ran can do it!"

* * *

They had left the girls back in the apartment which was dark except for the light that seeped through the tiny space under the door of Kogoro's room. And down the street Conan and Heiji walked, both quiet for sometime, with their hands stuffed deep into their pockets.

"So…will you tell her?"

The lenses of his spectacles gleamed under the lights of the streetlamps that lined the lonely streets. "I love her."

Heiji did not respond. By this time, they were sitting on the park bench. Conan's reply was not an answer to his question but he understood.

If he like Kudo, was reduced to the little boy known to everyone now as Edogawa Conan, and it was Kazuha who was lying in the hospital. He would not reveal his identity. The truth would threaten her life. To tell her his true identity would mean his lack of faith in her, that he did not believe she would live on until he could come back to her someday in his proper form and tell her.

Perhaps it was a child's idealism. Blind optimism maybe? Yet it was undeniably the sweetest sincerity in his feelings for her. There is always only one truth. Certain things never needed to be said outright. There are known in the heart.

The three words were his answer… He would never tell her.

* * *

A/N: Hi! It's been a really long while since the previous chapter and thank you so much for reading and reviewing! Exams are finally over! It's quite a short chapter but the next one, which is the last, will be much longer. Please feel free to comment on anything! Thanks!

And yep Eri's line here was taken from Honey and Clover II. I love that anime.


	5. Chapter 5

Angel

Chapter 5

* * *

Her long wavy locks of that shiny black had been chopped off during the preparation for the operation. It was necessary just so they could extract the tumor that threatened her life. This was the last day before her operation. The days that followed just seemed too hard to imagine and…Time appeared to be making fools out of those who depended on it so. 

She had received every single one of her classmates and close friends during the visiting hours of the last day. It was almost the same as any other day in the previous weeks when she was hospitalized. Busier perhaps. Sometimes the room might be full of incessant chatter. Sometimes, the room might be filled with people yet humming with silence.

Nonetheless the day was short and soon visiting hours were over. Yet with permission from the doctor, Kogoro, Eri and Conan stayed over watching her sleep under the influence of the drugs that took away the pain. She was all but a shell of the former healthy Ran. Pale and gaunt, she looked so weak under the faint illumination of the moonlight. Eri finally gave way to the tears that silently wrecked her body as she clutched the solemn Kogoro, who was determined to finally be the pillar they could count on for support. But under that fading moonlight that highlighted her frailty, Conan thought she looked like a sleeping angel.

"_Do you believe in angels?"_

"_Of course not!"_

"_Why not?"_

"_They can't be proven with science. Have you been reading those fiction books again?"_

"_Those books are no more fictional than your Holmes!"_

"… _Well at least I know that I can rely on Holmes rather than a non-existent angel."_

_The little girl looked a tad upset. Her lower lip quivered as though she was about to burst into tears at the boy's sarcasm. Then those shiny eyes closed for a moment and when they opened, there was no more hint of tears. "Don't you want to hear about what I read?"_

_He gave in. "Ok."_

_She stood up from the steps they had been sitting on. "They say that each and every person has a guardian angel. Our guardian angel protects us and sees that we are safe. Anyway, if you don't believe me, let me tell you something…There's a way to see our angel!"_

_He almost burst out laughing at her naivety. "Have you seen yours then?"_

_It was then when she broke into a wide smile as she stopped her little dance on the pavement, brightened by the golden light of the setting sun. "Yes!"_

"_So what does your angel look like?"_

_Winking, she put a finger to her lips, "It's a secret!"_

Ran was wheeled into the operation room the next morning. The surgeon operating on her was a renowned neurosurgeon. Yet neither his reputation nor statistics of successful operations could put the hearts of the anxious ones loitering just outside the room, at ease.

The first hour went by fast.

The second hour seemed much longer.

The third hour. Conan left the group.

During the fourth hour, Sonoko and Kazuha left for the nearby church, only to find little Conan kneeling right before the altar, appealing to a god he had never believed in before.

The fifth hour saw the group whole once more.

The sixth hour was when someone – who was it? It didn't seem important… Someone brought drinks… Not that any of them could have stomached down anything. A doctor had left the room hurriedly, leaving the doors swinging wildly behind him. He returned soon after with another doctor, neither answering to the people waiting.

The seventh hour was when Sonoko started crying. She had held back for weeks. Conan walked down the corridor to the window, and stared at the peaceful idyllic life outside where the pigeons crowded around the fountain. There she was, in a room some metres away, fighting for her life, and just outside the window was a whole world that was rich with the energy that was being drained from her. His clenched fist drove hard into the windowsill. It didn't seem fair. About to leave, he turned. It was then that a soft fluttering caught his ear. Looking back, a white pigeon had settled on the sill, basking in the warmth of the bright afternoon.

He reached out. Startled, the bird flew away, leaving behind a single white feather that caught the light, glowing softly. His fingers closed over the feather gently.

Which hour it was that the doors swung open didn't seem to matter to those who waited. The doctor paused momentarily outside the doors before finding Kogoro who gripped the his arms almost as though his life depended on it. "Well?"

"Some complications arose during the operation. We did our best. The tumor has been extracted and we have stopped the cancerous cells from dividing. But your daughter… She is in a coma now. Her condition is still rather unstable. If she were to make it through the night she will be out of danger."

No one knew what to make out of this. The silence that followed seemed to give them time to decide over their reaction. The doctor patted Kogoro and left.

* * *

She had made it through the night. But she did not awake from her coma. The nurse had passed Eri a box under Ran's instructions before the operation.

She opened the box and found it filled with envelopes that were properly addressed in her daughter's neat writing. Her hands sieved through the contents until she found the one meant for her.

'Mother'

_Dear Mother, _

_I am writing this in case I cannot make it through…or in case something happens. I know you probably will berate me for having such a thought but I just thought that I should consider all possibilities. Who knows, maybe I'll be looking at this box some days after the operation and laughing at this as though everything had been a dream._

_I love you Mother. I love you and Dad. I long very much for you two to be together once more. Dad may seem to always be in that drunken state, flirting with pretty women and all but… late in the nights when I put him to bed in that stupor, he often calls out your name… I know he still loves you. Haha, of course if all goes well, I wouldn't even need to be telling this to you through this letter. I will continue of course, to bring you two back together._

_Yet in any case… If… If you should be seeing this letter, it must mean that I didn't make it. I want you to know that I am very grateful to you for all that you've given me these years. I never blamed you for leaving the house. I never blamed you once. _

_Are you crying now as you read this? Don't… I'll still be around you. I'll be watching you and protecting you with my blessings up in Heaven._

_I will always be with you._

_Your loving daughter, _

_Ran_

The box fell from her lap as the contents spilled onto the floor. Hearing the dull thud from the corridor as he was approaching the room, Conan broke into a sprint and dashed into the room only to find Ran still sleeping, and her mother, lost in her tears as she clutched the letter still, with a heap of letters at her feet.

* * *

_Dear Shinichi,_

_Do you blame me for hiding my condition from you? Maybe if I had told you about this, you would have returned from wherever you were to see me… It's been so long since we've last met… Would you not have done the same too, if you were to be in my shoes? I don't want you to worry…_

_I have another reason for not telling you. I know. You are Conan. You were always by my side weren't you? I have no idea what happened – that you should be reverted to your younger self and yet still be able to appear as Shinichi sometimes but… surely you have your reasons. I trust you. The resemblance between the two of you is too striking anyway…you can't fool me stupid! We grew up together remember?_

_It has been years, hasn't it? I think we spent almost our entire lives together. Or maybe my entire lifetime perhaps, which must have ended for you to be reading this. 17 years… Every year with you was a blessing. Every memory together was a precious moment of my life. _

_Do you believe in angels?_

_I wonder if you remember the first time I asked that question… I can tell you didn't believe when I told you I saw my angel. And I still remember that skeptical expression of yours when I told you how to see your angel. Haha… You wanted to know what my angel looked like didn't you? It's still a secret! I'm never going to tell you!_

_I don't know if you still remember the method I told you. It seems silly to be writing all about that in here, since this would be my last words to you…But if you should try it… I hope you do see your angel._

_Even if you don't, know that I will always be by your side as you have been by mine through out my entire life, guarding over you as you have done for me._

_I love you, Shinichi…_

_Always yours,_

_Ran _

He carefully folded the letter and placed it back into the envelope together with the feather he had picked up two days ago. It was the second day after the operation and she still hadn't woken.

_So she had always known…

* * *

_

For seven years she had laid on the bed, lost to the world of consciousness almost as though she had been placed under the spell. He had visited everyday, telling her of the happenings, even pausing at times as though expecting her response.

Today was no different. He sat before her, holding her hand in his as he smiled gently at her and began talking.

"The FBI had allowed Ai to recover the documents regarding the drug that had left us small. She has been working on an antidote in their research laboratories… I think it's been two years since she had left to America for her research… It's been that long… She contacted me again recently. I think there has been a breakthrough in her research! I will be meeting her tomorrow just before I meet you…Maybe you'll wake up then?"

The syndicate that had left him a child, had been apprehended during the fourth year that she had remained in coma. Just as well, as Conan, he would be entering puberty soon and the resemblance would grow difficult to hide.

He didn't visit Ran the next day. He couldn't. And when he finally could, it was a week later.

Again, he sat down in the chair by her bed and spoke to her still sleeping body.

"Wake up Ran… Wake up… It's been seven years already…"

The week that he was gone, Ai had run tests samples of his blood and made him somewhat of a prisoner in her laboratory before she gave him the drug that would be the antidote. "I have to make sure that there would be no more side effects this time round."

He took the round pill and glanced doubtfully at it.

"Are you certain about this?"

She gave him a chilly smile as always and replied, "No."

Even after a week, he was still weak. Yet he had recovered his proper body. Soon after the usual one-sided conversation with Ran, he fell asleep by her bed, all the while holding onto her hand.

He was dreaming. And in the dream, they were kids again. Then again, perhaps it was not a dream, rather a memory. They were ten again, seated on the steps that led to her father's office. She was talking and he was listening. Then she got up and started twirling around on the pavement.

They were so small, they were so young. Time seemed to stop forever in that moment where she continued her little dance, all the while lit aglow by the smiling sun.

And as memory dictated, he said it. "So what does your angel look like?"

She stopped and winked. "When I wake up, I see my angel!"

The dream ended as he awoke to Kogoro's frantic shouts that sounded somewhat unintelligible to his ears. Or perhaps he wasn't paying attention.

Waking up, he saw his angel smiling faintly at him.

* * *

A/N: Yep, the story ends here. Hoped you enjoyed it. Haha it took a little longer than I promised because I changed the ending I originally had in mind… I hoped you like this. I had this idea in mind for quite some time. Guess the inspiration for it was drawn somewhat from the happenings to the people around me. I wished they could have had a better ending but life is just so. Nevertheless, I believe in angels! Yes haha I believe that there's a guardian angel assigned to each of us, smiling and blessing upon us always. I have a friend who believes in this new age stuff and she has a few books of this. I still remember the conversation over the phone when she told me how I could see my guardian angel. I tried it. I think I saw mine. There's more to believing than just seeing. Every moment that we are happy, I think there's someone blessing us. And when we are down, there's someone trying to help us up again. Angels need not have wings; they can be people around us too... 

Much thanks to everyone!


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